Teaching Finances to Children: 14 Years Later – Part 1

Reflecting on the Lessons We Taught

In the original post, I shared how we emphasized discipline and delayed gratification. We taught our kids to resist the “I want it now” mentality and instead focus on purposeful spending. Our approach revolved around age-appropriate lessons:

• Small rewards through effort: If they wanted something like candy or a toy, they could earn it with good behavior or by helping out.
• Learning the value of money: From a young age, they were asked, “Did you bring your money?” whenever they wanted something extra.
• Saying no to ourselves as parents: We made conscious choices to say no, even when it was hard, to model responsible decision-making.

(We talk about saying no to a New York City trip in this post: Delayed Gratification: It’s Hard to Say “No”!)

Looking back, those early lessons weren’t just about managing money—they were about building confidence, resilience, and independence.

Avoiding Debt: A Foundational Principle

One of the biggest takeaways from our financial journey is this: debt should be avoided whenever possible. That principle became the cornerstone of how we approached teaching our kids about money.

Our middle child, now 21, embraced this wholeheartedly. He chose to attend a local college, live at home, and work part-time while we cover his tuition (which fits into our budget). By managing his own expenses and staying out of debt, he’s setting himself up for long-term financial stability.

When Debt Is Unavoidable

Our oldest had a unique college experience. She was recruited to play volleyball at a Division 3 school, which made her college journey a bit more expensive. While she received a substantial financial aid package, the costs of tuition, fees, and athletic commitments meant she had to take out some loans to fill the gap.

At first, she felt the pressure to rely on us for money, especially since many of her peers had parents covering all their expenses. The financial weight of college combined with the demands of being a student-athlete made it a challenging time for her.

Then, life threw our family a curveball. When I was diagnosed with cancer, she watched how we leaned on our emergency fund to navigate that difficult period. She saw her dad and me take on extra jobs to keep things afloat, and it left a lasting impression.

This was a turning point for her. She realized she could take charge of her finances, and instead of feeling burdened by her circumstances, she felt motivated to work toward her goals. She started working more during college breaks, took on leadership roles, and made thoughtful financial decisions to stretch her budget.

Now, when she reflects on those years, it’s with pride. She learned how to navigate financial challenges with resilience and independence, skills that have continued to serve her well as an adult.

The Frugal Teen

Now, let me tell you about our youngest. At 16, he’s taken frugality to another level. He rarely spends money unless it’s on McDonald’s. He doesn’t ask for much, doesn’t shop for himself, and prefers to make do with what he has. Or what he has been given.

While I sometimes wish he’d treat himself more, I admire his discipline. He’s learned to value what he has and save for what he truly wants—a lesson many adults struggle to master.

Gradual Independence

In the original post, I talked about gradually transitioning kids into financial independence, and that hasn’t changed. Over the years, we introduced age-appropriate financial responsibilities:

• In elementary school, they earned small rewards for helping out.
• By middle and high school, they paid for gifts, activities, and eventually their own gas.
• By college, they managed personal expenses while we supported tuition or larger needs.

This gradual approach ensured they weren’t overwhelmed while teaching them to prioritize and plan.

Coming Up in Part 2

In Part 2, I’ll dive deeper into how we prepared our kids for adulthood, including conversations about savings, investing, and financial independence. I’ll also share practical advice for parents just starting their journey of teaching finances to their children.

Teaching finances to children is an evolving journey, but the core principles remain the same. The lessons we shared in the original post have continued to guide our parenting, and it’s been incredible to see those seeds grow into independence, confidence, and financial responsibility.

Stay tuned for Part 2!