On December 17, 1994, I married my best friend on a night so beautiful it felt like a gift. Snow had fallen all week, but by the time we said “I do,” the sky was clear, and the full moon cast its glow over everything making the snow sparkle. It felt magical—a perfect start to what would become 30 years of love, growth, and partnership.
From Friends to Forever
We met in college in 1990, but romance wasn’t even on the radar. We were just friends, and to be honest, neither of us had any interest in dating each other at first. At the time, we were both seeing other people.
By 1991, things started to shift. My future husband found himself newly single and ready to explore the dating world, only to realize it wasn’t as exciting as he’d imagined. After one particularly disastrous date, he decided he didn’t want to waste time on fleeting relationships with girls who weren’t serious. That’s when he started thinking about what he truly wanted in a future wife.
As he considered different qualities, my name kept coming to mind. But there was one problem—I was one of his best girl friends, how could he date me? When he confided in his best guy friend, explaining why he couldn’t date his friend, the response stopped him in his tracks: “That is exactly why you should date her!”
Let’s just say his pursuit began right then and there. Lucky for me, he didn’t stop until I finally realized he was exactly the person I wanted to spend forever with.
30 Years of Marriage: What We’ve Learned
Looking back on the past three decades, I’m amazed at how much we’ve grown. We’ve matured, learned patience (and then learned it again!), and come to accept each other’s quirks and flaws. I’ll be the first to admit that marriage takes work, but the effort has been worth every bit of it.
The biggest lesson we’ve learned? Communication is vital. Keeping things bottled up doesn’t solve anything, and it definitely doesn’t help you grow as a couple. Being honest—even when it’s hard to say or hard to hear—is what keeps the connection strong.
Weathering Life’s Storms Together
Every marriage has its share of challenges, and we’ve certainly had ours. We’ve been through major financial ups and downs and faced serious health scares. But here’s the thing: every one of those challenges brought us closer together.
I’ll never forget one moment during my cancer journey. I was preparing for yet another surgery, and my husband held my hand with both of his. I looked down at how tightly he was holding on, saw the worry on his face, and felt his strength. That strength carried me through. It was such a powerful moment that I took a picture of our hands to remember it.
These challenges have taught us that no matter what life throws at us, we’re a team—and together, we can get through anything.
How We Celebrate Our Wedding Anniversary
In our early years, we would often celebrate our anniversary with a weekend getaway. But let’s be real—our anniversary is one week before Christmas, and at some point, I had to admit that I’d rather stay home with the kids, making holiday memories.
Now, we save our big trips for other months and keep our anniversary simple. A nice dinner out, just the two of us, is all I need. This year, though, we already celebrated in a big way with a trip to Italy! It was a company reward trip, but we made it extra special by gifting ourselves first-class upgrades. We spent a week exploring Rome and Venice, eating amazing food, and soaking in the sights. It was a celebration worthy of 30 years together.
Words of Advice for Newlyweds
We used to mentor young couples, and one thing we always emphasized was this: Don’t vent about your marriage to your family.
Here’s why: if you’re upset and go to a family member to “get it off your chest,” it can permanently change how they view your spouse. You might forgive and move on, but your family might not. Instead, find someone neutral—a friend, a counselor, or even your spouse—to talk things through. Protect your relationship by keeping those conversations private and from family’s ears.
Looking Back on 30 Years of Marriage
When I think about the past 30 years, it’s not just the big milestones that stand out—it’s the small moments that remind me of what we’ve built together. Holding hands before a surgery. Laughing at inside jokes. Sitting together watching our favorite tv shows and movies, enjoying the life we’ve built unfold around us.
Marriage isn’t perfect. It’s messy, challenging, and full of unexpected twists. But it’s also beautiful, rewarding, and worth every moment.
Here’s to the next chapter of our story—and all the love and memories yet to come.
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Written by Anna
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